Meditate on what?

You strive to focus inwardly, use meditation and seek self-improvement and yet gain only glimpses of lasting peace.

The discipline of selflessness proposes that you focus outwardly. Instead of meditation, provide mediation. Instead of self-improvement, try to help others improve.

But don't think this giving of yourself is for earning some points. Again, the reward is in the giving and the sacrifice itself.

When it is time to rest, focus on God. Meditate on his glory and power, not yours. God is gracious, forgiving and desires the best for you. His favor can restore you and give you true lasting peace, but not because of your works, but because of His goodness.

Give First

Unfortunately we often choose to give of ourselves because of a perceived future reward, or "return on investment."

There often is some ROI. But it is often not apples to apples. You serve food at the homeless shelter and your kids learn to respect you. You stay home for the weekend so your wife can get away for a break and you get to help your daughter get closer to choosing her direction in life. You teach a co-worker your best secret technique for getting ahead and gain a life-long friend.

But what if you serve at the homeless shelter and your kids think you are weird? What if you give your wife a break for the weekend and your kids drive you nuts all weekend? What if you teach a co-worker your secret sauce and he or she gets the promotion you deserve?

The discipline of selflessness is centered around the premise that giving itself is the ROI. Your experience of sacrifice, learning, serving, and helping another is the reward.

And have faith. There is a reward coming. In this life and the next.

we are not in control of our destiny

We believe that it is our striving and effort, our sweat and tears which determine our destiny. We equate that destiny with success.

But we are not in control of our destiny. We never have been.

The truth is that God determined our destiny before we drew a breath. Our striving and sweat and tears are a response to His gift of life. Our efforts are merely a part of God's plan for us. God determines the results. It is His plan after all.

Our contribution, and the only measure of success, is our response to God. The paradox-mystery of life is that our results are insignificant. God knows and is responsible for the results. His results are the only results of significance. And His results often look incredibly different than those we would expect, choose or work for.

We can either live in fear that we are not going to be successful, or we can be courageous in our response to God's gift of life...

Give, Love, Sacrifice, Persist, Resist, Rejoice, Forgive, Survive, Hope, Try, Fail, Fall, Get up, Try again, Believe and Have Faith.

Selflessness is a Romance

A discipline is a pursuit. It is work. But the discipline of selflessness is also an affair of the heart. It is a desire, a romance.

The discipline of selflessness can be overshadowed by the busy-ness of life, work, family, hobbies and even the actual work of service - even the work of godly service.

What the discipline requires, and if you are a believer, what God requires, is the passion at the core of your heart. Do you desire to be of service to others? Does your heart yearn to give of yourself?

Pride and Humility

Pride is the destroyer of relationships.
It lives in the heart of every man's ego.
It's enemy is humility.

Pride says, "I know as much or more than you, so you cannot teach me anything."
What a loss!

Humility says, "I am always learning and always growing, so I will seek to learn something from you."

Pride is the lover of selfishness.

Humility walks in harmony with selflessness.

People are Selfish

We are selfish by nature. Call it a survival tool. But through our selfishness we are left unfulfilled, still searching for more, and without peace. In fact, through our selfishness, we can often be frustrated...

• Absorbed in our own needs, we forget our responsibility to others, then we must make amends, repair things broken or re-work things left unfinished.
• Unfocused, we leave out necessary details and take short cuts, requiring more work in the end as time and circumstances erode any progress we may have made.

The fear of Selflessness

The fear of being selfless is that I will be emptied, my needs will be unmet and I will suffer.

• I cannot be emptied because each time I choose to serve, give or love, the power of that choice, the energy of that act, refills me.
• My needs: love, respect, recognition, peace and security are gifts from God and are not returned in kind from other people. It is fruitless to expect them and a pleasure to receive them. But more so, love, self-respect, peace and security come from the giving, and giving is insatiable once it is established as a way of being.
• Suffering may be the result of some giving. Sacrifice can be fulfilling. I learn, grow and have more experience and more compassion and empathy to offer others.

The mystery of life

The mystery of life is its paradox.
· Suffering is revealing
· Pain is required for growth
· Quiet brings understanding
· Knowing yourself reveals the truth about others